Men’s Mental Health: You Don’t Have to Carry It Alone
October is a time to shine a light on men’s mental health and, importantly, on the ways we can create more opportunities for men to connect, talk, and seek support.
In Australia, 18% of males aged 16–85 experienced a mental disorder in the previous 12 months. Among young men aged 16–24, this figure rose to 32% in the National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing. There is also a stark reality in our suicide statistics: males account for 76.5% of suicide deaths in Australia. These figures are a powerful reminder that support needs to happen much earlier—long before a crisis point is reached.
The Barriers to Connection
Reaching out isn’t always easy. Practical barriers like heavy work hours and family responsibilities can leave men with very little time or space to stop and talk.
There are also personal barriers. Many men grew up learning to deal with things alone, feeling uncomfortable expressing deep emotions, or worrying about being judged.
These patterns often start early:
- In boyhood: Emotional distress often looks like frustration, withdrawal, or changes in behaviour, rather than saying, “I’m struggling.”
- In young adulthood: Pressures around identity, study, independence, and new relationships create immense underlying stress.
- In adulthood: Balancing the demands of career, relationships, and family can mean your own well-being gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list.
Connection doesn’t always have to begin with a big conversation. Sometimes it starts with spending time together, asking a genuine question, and listening without immediately trying to “fix” the problem.
Shifting Gears: Navigating Life’s Biggest Adjustments
As a psychologist, my work focuses heavily on helping men navigate the massive, unscripted transitions that life throws our way. Society often expects men to anchor everyone else during major life shifts, leaving little room for them to process their own experiences.
In my practice, we focus heavily on three critical areas:
1. The Perinatal Period (Becoming a Dad)
While much of the focus during pregnancy and postpartum is rightly on mums, dads experience profound psychological shifts too. Up to 1 in 10 new fathers experience perinatal anxiety or depression. Navigating a changing relationship, sleep deprivation, financial pressure, and the sheer weight of responsibility can feel overwhelming. It’s entirely normal to feel out of your depth here, and talking through it is a sign of strategy, not weakness.
2. The Realities of Modern Parenting
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and modern fatherhood asks men to be more emotionally available, present, and patient than ever before—often without having had a blueprint for it themselves. Whether you are dealing with the toddler years, navigating co-parenting after a separation, or trying to connect with a teenager, we work on practical tools to manage your own triggers and build strong, respectful bonds with your kids.
3. Major Life Adjustments
Life rarely moves in a straight line. Career changes, job loss, relationship breakdowns, physical injury, or moving to a new phase of life can shake your sense of identity and purpose. When the ground shifts beneath your feet, it is easy to default to isolation. Therapy provides a practical, confidential space to recalibrate, work out who you are in this next chapter, and build a clear focus for the future.
Practical Strategies: For Yourself and For Your Mates
Mental fitness requires deliberate, daily maintenance. When life gets heavy or transitions become overwhelming, having a concrete game plan makes a massive difference.
What You Can Do for Yourself
- Schedule non-negotiable “active recovery”: Treat downtime like a training session. Whether it is a solo gym session, a run, time on a hobby, or simply sitting with a coffee for 15 minutes without your phone, you need time where nothing is demanded of you.
- Audit your warning signs: Notice your specific “check engine light” before you reach a breaking point. Are you snapping at your kids, withdrawing from texts, sleeping poorly, or relying more heavily on alcohol? Recognizing these signs early lets you course-correct sooner.
- Name the challenge: Acknowledging that a transition—like becoming a dad or changing careers—is objectively hard reduces the internal pressure to “just get over it.” Self-compassion isn’t soft; it’s tactical.
- Outsource the heavy lifting: You wouldn’t try to fix a complex car transmission without the right tools or an expert. Treating your mental health the same way by speaking to a professional is simply smart maintenance.
What You Can Do for Others
- Use the “shoulder-to-shoulder” approach: Men often talk more freely when they don’t have to make direct eye contact. Have conversations while driving, walking the dog, working on a project, or watching the game.
- Ask the second question: When a mate says he is “good” or “busy,” don’t just leave it there if you suspect otherwise. Follow up with a specific, casual prompt: “Yeah, I know work has been chaotic, how are you actually tracking with it all?”
- Normalize the struggle: Share your own challenges first to break the ice. Saying, “Man, sleep deprivation with the new baby is kicking my arse at the moment, how did you handle it?” gives the other person permission to be honest.
- Just show up: If a mate is going through a separation, grief, or major stress, you don’t need to provide a perfect philosophical answer. Dropping off a coffee, sending a quick text, or inviting him out for a casual catch-up lets him know he isn’t isolated.
Walking the Walk: The ‘Lift the Load’ Challenge
To put these words into action, I am participating in the Lift the Load fundraiser. This challenge involves walking with a weighted vest to symbolize the invisible, heavy burdens that so many men carry in silence every day.
The core purpose of this challenge is to raise vital funds that directly help young men access early intervention mental health support. While I am not sharing this to ask for your money, I am sharing it to amplify the cause. My goal is to make these invisible struggles visible. If you see me out walking with the vest, let it be a reminder that no matter how heavy your current mental load feels, you don’t have to carry it by yourself.
Taking the First Step
Taking care of your mental fitness isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about making sure you have the tools to handle the load you’re carrying.
If you are navigating a difficult transition, finding parenting tougher than expected, or just feeling like you’re running on empty, you don’t have to figure it out entirely on your own.
“If any of this resonates with you, or if you feel like your check-engine light is blinking, reach out for a confidential chat or book a session via our website—you don’t have to figure it out alone.”
If you or someone you know needs immediate support, free and confidential help is available 24/7 through Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you would like to book a session to discuss perinatal support, parenting, or navigating a life transition, please reach out via our website booking page.
References
- Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) (2023). National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing 2020–2022. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release
- Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) (2025). Causes of Death, Australia, 2024: Intentional self-harm (suicide) deaths. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/causes-death/intentional-self-harm-suicide-deaths/latest-release
- Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) (2026). Suicide & self-harm monitoring: Suicide deaths by age and sex. AIHW. https://www.aihw.gov.au/suicide-self-harm-monitoring/overview/suicide-deaths
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